What should I call…YOU?

In English, basically we have just one second person pronoun: “you”. Except in a few exceptional circumstances, “you” can be used to address practically anyone at all. What should you notice here, The use of second person pronouns is one of the most difficult areas of Indonesian.  Even the few tentative steps we are starting to take at this point present fairly formidable, prickly, subtle difficulties.

You know, Most Indonesians are ultra-sensitive to differences in rank, age, gender and formality. When two people talk to each other, as a rule the words they use for “you” will reflect their view of the relationship between them. 

Are they social equals?

 Are they roughly the same or very different in age?

 Do they know each other well or only distantly? 

Are they the same sex? 

 All these factors can influence their choice of a word for “you”. Indeed, sometimes even ethnic differences, or vocational differences, or kinship differences can play a role in determining one’s choice of a word for “you”. And there are plenty of second person pronouns (i.e. words that mean “you”) to choose from in Indonesian. If English has just one and French has two, Indonesian has around a dozen that are in common use, and probably more than fifty altogether. 

In Indonesian, the very widespread use of kinship terms as second person pronouns seems to function both to “incorporate” the addressee into an imagined community or “family”, and to make clear the differences in status that are perceived to exist between addresser and addressee. Here are some of the most common words for “you” that are also kinship terms.

Okay. Let’s put it in the simple way. See the person who you are talking with, is it an old man? Okay, if you found he’s older than you…or you want to show some respect or manner call him Bapak (for male) or Ibu ( for female). For example : 

You : “Bapak mau kemana?” (Where do you want to go?) or “Mau kemana,pak?”

The Old Man : “Saya mau ke kamar mandi.” (I wanna go to toilet) 

Another example : 

A : “Mau saya bikinin nasi goreng, gak?” (Do you want some rice fried?)

B : “Oh, boleh, Bu. Makasih” (Oh, I’d love to. Thanks) 

See?  Even you are not his daughter or son, it’s okay to call someone older than you ‘bapak’ / ‘pak’ (for male) or ‘Ibu’ / ’bu’. As long as you think, that person supposed to have son or daughter you can call em like that. Or you meet someone older than you about 15 years, you can call him ‘Pak’ or ‘Bu’.  Indonesian will think you are well-manner person!

What if I met someone in the same age than me? 

Okay. If you think, the difference age between you guys, its less than 10 years. You can call em ‘mba’ or ‘mas’, if you were in Java. Outside Java, let’s call em ‘Kakak’ or ‘Abang’. Let’s put some example. 

A : “Mba, asli orang mana?” (where do you come from?)  

B : “Saya orang Bandung, mas.” ( I come from Bandung.)

Another case : 

A : “Bang, disini penginapan murah dimana, ya?” (Do you know the cheapest hotel here?)

B : “Ada tuh. Deket rumah” (I do. It’s near of my house)

In another case, if you met someone in the same age with you or younger than you, you can call ‘KAMU’ (YOU) whenever you want. If you say, ‘ANDA’ in the informal situation, we’ll feel awkward to talk with you. 

If it is any consolation, you might be interested to know that Indonesians themselves often put the choice of the right pronoun into the too hard basket. In fact, very often people will go through some fairly spectacular contortions (verbal contortions, that is) to avoid altogether using a word for “you”, especially if they are in doubt about whether to be casual or formal with the person they are talking to.

You have already met an instance of “you-avoidance” in the greeting Mau ke mana? Other similar phrases are Tinggal di mana? (Where do you live?), Mau makan apa? (What would you like to eat?), Turun di mana? (Where are you getting off?). A slightly bizarre variant of this, but also very common, is the substitution of the more neutral third-person pronoun –nya for the second person pronoun. Thus you will hear people say, for example, Rumahnya di mana?(Where is your house?) or Anaknya berapa? (How many children do you have), and evenNamanya siapa? (What is your name?)

Okay I think that’s all for me. Thanks for your attention! See ya on another article!